[As Read on GIO.]
The Wolf Among Us
In Which I Still Continue to Ruin the First Episode
Sorry for the longer wait with this part of my Faith analysis slash spoilers blog guys! I’m sure those of you who haven’t yet purchased or played the first episode have been waiting very patiently to hear more about these particular encounters and ruin your first experience altogether, am I right? No? Oh, well, I’ll go ahead and fill in on some more details anyway. The previous portion of this blog series can be found here. Once more, I must warn you that many spoilers are going to be in this blog post, so read at your own risk of spoiling this excellent narrative experience for yourself. You’ve been forewarned many times already, but if you’ve come this far, you may as well continue.
(Played through from the Toad pathway, not the Prince one- for time constraints.)
1. The woodsman lives in the Bronx? Figures… [I do not mean this disrespectfully to any persons who may live there themselves, and am merely saying this with my ill-gotten humor.]
2. Recapping things we already know gets you plus one point good sir.
3. Because nobody noticed the giant man shaped hole in the plaster wall. Also, despite the fact you are both Fables, explain to me how tossing someone out of a window suddenly breaks just about the entire wall as well. Hmm…
4. How can a toad drive well anyway? Wouldn’t you be doing him a favor by ruining his car? Wouldn’t he have eventually gotten himself killed anyway when his sticky, webbed feet stuck to the gas pedal and caused him to floor it at a red light or something? Seriously, now I’m curious…
5. Unless I’m hallucinating, yes, there is obviously somebody up there. I bet you I know who it is too because I’ve already played through the episode, but I won’t ruin it…
6. It’s magic, but look at the conveniently sized truck over there… Oh well, guess I’ll just ignore that you know.
7. I wonder if these fables can disapparate or something… That would be pretty helpful in a lot of cases I could think of…
8. Toad obviously quarreling, later says there was nobody there. Fishy much? Or should I say- amphibious much?
9. Thank you for emphasizing the sobbing there Telltale, with the slowly scrolling text in the subtitles. Wisely made design choice there…aesthetically speaking.
10. Hand upon chest ‘wait’ cliche from female character partnered with male main character or otherwise noted protagonist.
11. There needs to be a button prompt to bash in the door, just because she said to “be nice in there” and I really want to have that option in all cases anyway.
12. Oh no, no…because we weren’t worried or suspicious at all when you called asking for help. Obviously nothing happened, and everything’s totally under control and we can leave you alone without investigating the place at all, merely on your word alone. Because that’s totally logical Toad.
13. And I suppose you just happened to drop the phone or something suddenly for whatever reason? Seems legit.
14. Leaky drain pipe excuses never work, despite not often coming up. Try the leaky cauldron next time- that might actually get someone if they’re a big enough Potter fan…
15. So you assure us that nobody was there, then agree with us when we say we definitely saw somebody? And then say that you investigated but managed not to see this person, who we then saw after you had investigated, when we showed up? I’m picking up some fallacy here all over the place…
16. Is this froggy kid supposed to be a punk or something? What’s with that tee shirt, huh?
17. Stung his little toe, eh? Oh, we’ll see about that…
18. Oh yes, you’re in such a hurry to get us out of here- there’s obviously nothing you’re hiding or anything…
19. Calls for help, comes for help, doesn’t want help now, we help anyway, gets defensive, we simply investigate more. There’s a pattern to what’s going to happen here. And Toad should have gotten that by now. After all, if nothing was wrong at all and it was just his “imagination”, why concede the point of an intruder, and then say there’s no need to look around? Hmm…?
20. I don’t want to waste your time, and yet I’ve just wasted a good five minutes of it right here. Convenient.
21. Apparently the only thing interesting about this little frog or toad or whatever is his insect collection. Wouldn’t he be more concerned with eating them than collecting them? I mean- as a frog, you could save a lot of money spent at the grocery by simply eating what you catch instead of pinning them up or whatever.
22. Seems to walk alright to me. You? Yeah? So…
23. Smashed lamp. Check. Lying about it most likely. Check.
24. And you somehow didn’t notice how it got broken, so you’re just going to keep changing your story? How are we supposed to help you if you can’t even try to help yourself man?!
25. Yes, this obviously fell off the table when it isn’t plugged in, and the plugs are filled up already. Seems legitimate to me. What about you guys eh?
26. Because no one noticed the big ass bloodstain on the wall before? Yet you swear nothing happened here. What’d you do- swat a mosquito the size of your head or something? Actually, don’t answer that- at this rate, you’ll probably just agree with me and say ‘yep, that’s exactly what happened,’ or something…
27. No, I only asked you if you were bleeding for my health, not because I’m actually curious and that is blood. Totally out of the blue, sorry, I’ll just be off to the next fishy clue…
28. Because cutting your hand totally makes a splatter like that on the wall. Anyone who’s watched Dexter knows that is definitely untrue, and also, I noticed your hand looked perfectly fine earlier, and that blood is obviously fresh, so you couldn’t have done it earlier. Lying? Check.
29. Claw marks at the window leading out? Obviously these musty prints must belong to a frog, right? Oh, so you’re saying you climbed in through the window and yet somehow it shows the marks going out in a hurry? Totally makes sense, thanks for clearing that up.
30. You are seriously either the worst person at hiding evidence and lying or the worst parent ever, and much less, at least try to clean the damn place up a bit! Come on- just leaving that bloody poker around and the window unlocked and all of that stuff? You didn’t ever think that somebody could actually break in now, since they obviously didn’t earlier?
31. I somehow don’t think a poker is sharp enough to slice your foot open just from brushing it across when you drop it. Unless you have some magical vorpal blade for a poker or something that is. I’m going to go with lying, yet again. This seems to be a recurring trend here. Maybe you do have something to hide then… Hmm…
32. So it happened at the same time virtually? You mean you managed to cut yourself and drop the poker and come through the window and magically have the unconnected lamp break, all within a certainly short amount of time, when you obviously noted there was some space between these events? Seems legitimate, totally.
33. Yeah, something here is quite ruinous alright, but I’m not so sure it is the turn of events you’re describing to me there…
34. As if i had to state the obvious for you- we both know what really went down here, it’s simply a matter of you filling me in on the details of it all. Just cut to the chase.
35. I would really pay to see you get mean if it means a Toad vs. Wolf cage match. Now, that’d be something. Although entirely skewed one way for certain.
36. Classic, talking in front of suspects as if they aren’t there at all. You know, this very same thing annoys me when my friends do it, so I’m almost positive Toad is fuming right now- well, and lying his butt off…
37. I wouldn’t say the busted lock is the only problem with that door. There’s a giant crack in it as well. That’s pretty noticeable for sure. Funny, you never mentioned this to me Mr. Toad… Oh wait, that’s because you’re still covering things up.
38. Thanks for really stepping in that stinky pile mate. You climbed in through the window when you could’ve easily opened the broken door? Seems legit, right? Ha.
39. Pointing out lies to people in this game is almost as good as doing just that in LA Noire, except the excuses here are laughable in this case. He he he.
40. You forgot because of the sate you were in? Well then, what state were you in? You can obviously remember perfectly fine that it’s busted now, so why can’t you seem to remember anything else accurately, without me having to push you down the right path each time?
41. Oh, now you’re embarrassed and I’m just supposed to drop it? Funny, I don’t think that’s how it works- especially when you’re dealing with the Big B. Wolf my friend. I’m bad to the bone- literally.
42. Oh, funny, because that toy must just be exactly shaped like the lamp over there that was obviously never plugged in. Funny how this one mundane noticed clue simply pulls apart your entire messy web of lies and crap you’ve told me for the past seven minutes or so. Undone by a lamp- pitiful.
43. Changing your tune yet again. *Sigh Too bad you’re obviously being forced to be quiet about this all, and to hush things up. Too bad I’m not going to let that happen.
44. Supporting character just happens to come into the room in time for a confession cliche. Oh yes, gotta love it when they nail that entrance stage left. Right?
45. Hugs his son as if he hasn’t seen him in over a week or something, meanwhile revealing that he has in fact been bleeding recently, and thus further unraveling his web of lies. But I thought Fables healed quickly? Not fast enough obviously, or without making the blood completely disappear… Nice try with the bowler though Toad my boy.
46. Are you implying that one of the Tweedles is not a man-ish character? Well now, that would certainly be an…interesting…turn of events. Anyway… how did you not soak through all this time, and conveniently the blood chooses now to make its grand appearance? What a lucky trick that is- you’ll have to show me how to do it sometime.
47. Bringing the Woodsman back into the story, with gusto. Hmm…foreshadowing much?
48. Well, I’m sorry, but your boy is probably toast now that you’ve told us exactly what happened and what he said would happen if this happened. Sad, really. Oh well- I guess I could go track them down and beat them up to find out what they know… But isn’t there that Prince guy who could potentially be dead or dying right now? Oh, right.
49. But wait- there’s more! Donkey-face lady has a coat here! Because ‘dad borrows stuff’ all the time. Who said stealing was bad? This actually helps progress the plot!
50. I’m surprised there wasn’t like a dead body or something in the fireplace at this point, a la Poe… Also, that particular mask on the coat reminds me of Hotline Miami or something he he he.
51. Convenient placement of a note that Toad somehow never noticed despite it falling out so easily at the merest touch when laid out on the couch. Plot progression anyone?
52. Obviously game-changing decision could have massive repercussions later, so I’m going to just give it to the guy myself. Even though he could totally be dead or something by now. No worries though. Maybe I’ll just never open it, and then we’ll forget all about this nasty business… Not like I have any choice in the matter or anything…
53. So…TJ eh? Toad Junior? Thought so.
54. Fifty points to Griffyndor for lighting up yet another smoke. How many is that now Bigby? Before this is all over, you’re more likely to be killed by lung cancer than any psychopathic serial killer out there…
55. And we finally decide to head over to the Prince’s place. Please note, that, upon the choice of Toad’s or the Prince’s places in the previous portion of the episode, you can get two dramatically different outcomes to this first episode alone, which greatly affect who lives and dies, and at what times. For time’s sake however, I will only include the Toad first choice here, as this blog would be much longer if I rehashed everything but through the other choice first.
56. Three guesses as to whose blood is on that knife, and what it was used for. You might be surprised at what the actual answer seems to be though. As if these things would actually end up being so simple…
57. By persuasive you mean intimidating of course. I’m starting to see some similarities to Obi-wan’s so-called “diplomacy” here.
58. Cue ominous overtones due to the door already being unlocked and open, and the television still running in the background. All we need now is some thrilling musical accompaniment. Oh, wait.
59. Snow disapproves of the smell. Someone’s been living…”highly” I guess… Or not. Or there’s a dead body floating around in here somewhere. At this point, that might be more likely.
60. Watch out, he might come back as a walker guys! I mean, this is Telltale we’re talking about here, so I wouldn’t put that twist past them…
61. Just kidding- he’s still alive, for now. You know, maybe if we’d come a little sooner…
62. Snow- translator of nearly dead persons. Plus one cool point for you then.
63. Meanwhile, I’m going to take my time and explore every nook and cranny I possibly can on my way to the kitchen to possibly save this man’s life. Oh well, he’s probably screwed anyway…so…
64. Yes, I have something to ask him- what…is the meaning of life? Is it really 42? I’m desperate to know…
65. I somehow doubt a dead, headless person did this to you, or that they did it long enough ago and you’re still somehow alive now despite obviously grievous wounds. So you must mean that all figuratively, right? Ha- I knew it.
66. Well, this fable didn’t seem very hard to kill now did he? I mean, come on- the Woodsman survives an axe to the brain and manages to get up and walk away, but Lawrence gets stabbed or shot a few times and dies? The tables seem to be titled a little bit here…
67. Whoops- sorry, forgot about that letter man. Guess I really will have to open it now, or I could simply leave it unread and ignore some really crucial plot points and such… Hmm… decision time boys.
68. Eh, might as well open it- it could tell us something I guess, like where to find Kevin Spacey in the game. Now, that’d be interesting.
69. Insert morality check here.
70. We must find who did this! [Dramatic ending location…]