Feeling a Bit more Frantic Pt. 2

[As Read on GIO.]

The Wolf Among Us

In Which I Continue to Ruin the First Episode for You

In case you missed yesterday’s blog upon the same topic, coincidentally you’re spoiling even that spoiler for yourself. If you’d like to read that blog here, then feel free- otherwise, I suppose you can continue or turn back at your own will. It’s open to you if you’re willing to ruin an epic experience for yourself before playing through it firsthand. Now, I think I’ve given you enough forewarning yet again, so let’s resume from where left off, shall we?

♦♦♦

1. ‘Late…’ Couldn’t have been a little more specific there guys? How’s that for exposition then?

2. By the way, Bigby seems to live in style… Complements of the law?

3. Keep off the grass? Shouldn’t this take place in some grouchy old man’s front yard if you’re going to say that? But at some apartments- really? Why, I’d let my dog crap there just out of spite if I had one still…

4. Beauty has some ferocious and witty and sarcastic bite. I imagine she gets that from Beast.

5. Relationship troubles? Hmm…let the speculation commence… Or maybe she killed- oh wait, we aren’t to that point yet- sorry…

6. ‘You can’t be too careful these days,’ Foreshadowing, foreshadowing, FORESHADOWING.

7. Oh, suddenly I’m late, even though I obviously had time to wait and hide before.

8. Yep- definitely some relationship turmoil. And cheating? Time will tell I guess…

9. Thanks for trusting me, now I’m off to kill some pe- Haha, only kidding- I think.

10.Suits of armor eh? Classy.

11. Flycatcher- um…what? Why?

12. Thanks for really doing your job there man. Sleeping it up. Go get ’em.

13. Feeling lonely are we Bigby? No mail? I’d say that’s a good thing- keep that streak alive.

14. Maybe you ought to invest in a legitimate nameplate so that it is attached and doesn’t feel the need to fall off every now and then.

15. Why couldn’t the choice of elevators be implemented as a matirx-esque red/blue pill decision? Bend reality a little bit, you know? Come on- I know you’d have loved to do that too…

16. Why, I’ll teach you to close the door in my face!

17. Be honest- how many of you let the door shut in his face without responding. I bet you did- whether by accident or otherwise.

18. At this point, I was kind of hoping we lived on something akin to Baker Street at 225 or 221… Oh well, one can wish.

19. Yeah, let’s crack a window to let the stifling air in, instead of out. Sounds legit.

20. Miraculously there is no water on me, yet I stuck my hands in the faucet and rubbed it on my face. Video game logic for you.

21. Nothing in the fridge… Nothing in the ice maker… So tell me, where do you keep your frozen goodies then?

22. Who be this here Bluebeard eh? Couldn’t be important, could he?

23. Ominous signs begin with non-ordered Chinese food- only in a fairy tale, right?

24. One of the three little piglets is all grown up now. Porky McPork needs to exercise a bit more though if he wants to stay in any other shape than rotund.

25. Talking pigs. Talking frogs. Why am I not surprised?

26. Why yes- yes, you are in my chair.

27. Only one chair? You didn’t think to invest in another for your piggy friend over here? Shame on you Bigby…

28. Pig knows how to model apparently, as demonstrated by his abrupt drop into a pose when he lays down. It’s sexy time.

29. Bigby looks not-so amused…as usual.

30. And…let’s smoke a little.

31. You just watched me pull out an entire pack of cigarettes- that is magically never been empty thus far, and you ask if I’ve ‘got a smoke?’ Congrats on the deductive skills Colin.

32. Smoking pig. And not ham. I mean a pig that is actually SMOKING. Yes- you heard me.

33. Reference to three little piggies and blowing down houses can’t be passed up by Colin, so naturally he mentions it as soon as possible.

34. The pig came from a farm- shocker.

35. Talks about place being worse than it’s sold as- probably just some benign comment, couldn’t possibly be any foreshadowing for some larger debate later on…

36. Offering a pig a drink suddenly means everyone likes you I guess. Too bad it didn’t actually change their opinions of Bigby.

37. Big Bad wolf is surprised that people hate him for eating their children and blowing their houses down. Funny- I haven’t heard that joke before.

38. ‘It’s better to be feared than loved,’ is countered by stating that the only person who believes that is some ‘sad a-hole.’ One point for team Colin.

39. Fresh starts- ha. Sounds almost as good as that clean slate pitch from The Dark Knight Rises… Hmm…

40. Actually, you can change memories- all it takes is a few years and a Neo Paris, and then you can beat some people up mentally along the way for added measure.

41. Quick morality pep talk flashes back to throwing a guy out of a second story window earlier. It still felt good though, so don’t feel too guilty yet.

42. Mundies? Why not go ahead and call them Muggles while we’re at it then?

43. Yes, my job is to beat people up- didn’t you know that?

44. [Insert cruel animal and farm remark that is actually not that bad that is apparently quite offensive for a pig.]

45. Punch line ruined.

46. ‘I’m sure you were sh**ty to everyone you came across tonight.’ Yep, pretty much.

47. Lone wolf? He he, I get it.

48. He has a thing for Snow White? Color me impressed- pun intended.

49. Two, two, two- I’m seeing a trend here…

50. Least deep morality choice of all time- seriously.

51. Classic ‘I’ll only sleep for a few moments,’ gag. Never fails- never works either though, then again…

52. And suddenly piggy pig is gone.

53. How much later is it?

54. Allow me to fix my tie but not really because it didn’t move at all, and I just don’t care.

55. Not the person you were expecting, was it?

56. Oh well though- Snow White it is.

57. Oh, let me just leave my apartment door open then- it’s not like there are any enemies out there that want to lay traps for me or anything…

58. Yep- something’s wrong…

59. Random Weasley twin appears. Well now- didn’t expect to see you here too. Interesting…

60. Maybe HE did it! Well- probably not, but you can never be too sure. Oh- but you still don’t know what it is he’s done then do you? Oh never mind that- you’ll know shortly.

61. As if that lump isn’t ominous enough.

62. And…let’s not rush things now…got to preserve the dramatic increase in tension and-

63. Oh dear lord! What the-?!!!!!

64. [Panting]

65. Well now- that wasn’t entirely surprising, seeing as I’ve already experienced it twice, but… It was a slight shock the first time around.

66. Solomon Grundy born on…Mundy? No- doesn’t sound quite right…

67. Come now- don’t actually call her a prostitute. She’s not in her right mind is all- actually, she won’t be in any mind, seeing as she’s clearly lost her’s- along with her head as well. Sorry, poor timing on my part.

68. No, whatever makes you think I’m not telling you something?

69. So obviously, our first course of action should be to track said Woodsman down…

70. …or not.

71. So- let’s play LA Noire: Wolfish Version then. Detective mode initiated!

72. Who dunnit? Who foundit? Who gonna clean it?

73. Well obviously one of ‘us’ did it- who else would’ve known to leave it on the BBW’s doorstep? Hmm?

74. Have a look around- just don’t mind the bloody head on the doorstep there. We’ll get to it again later I guess.

75. Her ribbon eh? I knew you should’ve told her you liked it- good for the self esteem before you die anyway… Might as well…never mind.

76. Hey- is that Dumbledore’s ring? Or Riddle’s? No? Well darn. Still, could be a lead later on I guess.

77. My bet is going to be something semi-magic related considering she was essentially magic in some way herself… Just a shot in the dark though- Michonne’s katana could’ve probably done the trick as well.

78. Oh yes- just look how delicately he cut her head off. Obviously the killer cared so much for her.

79. Hmm…curious… Bloodstains eh?

80. Funny that you should mention surreal. Bigby is a wolf and you’re Snow White- doesn’t get much more surreal than that, especially in the same story.

81. I’m going to vote we take her with us- just in case there’s some sort of Walking Dead thing going on and she reanimates- you know, contain it and all.

82. Oh, and let’s see- you don’t say? Really? It’s a message? Who would’ve thought?

83. I think this goes far beyond petty complaints at your office Snow White, my dear. Far, far away from them…

84. I’m pretty sure Ms. Snow would agree with just about any theory other than silence, you know. Just saying. She obviously doesn’t know what exactly is going on either.

85. Wait- Old King Cole? He’s here too?!

86. Also- is that a certain Ichabod Crane? Oh boy…

87. Would this Swineheart be related to Colin the pig? Hmm… Or maybe he is Braveheart’s descendant- but wow, the apple sure has fallen FAR from the tree if that’s the case…

88. The business office you say? One moment while I stare fondly and questioningly at this disembodied head… And here I guess we can tie things off for the day.

Advertisements
Tagged , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Milly Schmidt

The Cat's Write

Mr. Miniike's Tea-Sipping Reviews

Album reviews and pop culture nothings by a Christian INFP New Yorker turboplebe with no musical talent. Mostly empty gushing. How can you resist?

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Selected Essays and Squibs by Joseph Suglia

The Web log of Dr. Joseph Suglia

The Ninth Life

It's time to be inspired, become encouraged, and get uplifted!

Elan Mudrow

The Ridges of Intertextuallity

Storyshucker

A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

%d bloggers like this: